Specialist Parenting Course

“We don’t talk about maternal rage. I mean the kind that simmers under the surface for countless women, the kind that makes you dig your nails into your fists in an attempt to stop the fury from entering your hands, because if you don’t stop it now, it will turn to something shameful”

Author and mum Saima Mir

Do you feel get stuck in an endless cycle of losing your sh*t with your kids followed by guilt and shame? You’re not alone.

Our six-week specialist course will teach you to:

* Understand physiological + social costs of anger & triggers for “seeing red” 

* Recognise how parenting pressures & myths fuel the toxic anger-guilt cycle

* Deepen self-awareness and self-soothing skills to tame the rage

* Change the dance of anger in your relationships (such as with your partner and children)

* Reconnect & repair with yourself and your child

Can you relate? This course is for you if:

• You never expected to feel so angry as a mum

• You want to explore where your anger comes from

• You lose your temper in ‘hot’ moments and, later, regret consumes you

• You want to understand how anger shows up in your body

• You want to learn practical ways to create a pause

• You want to break free from perfectionism and ideas of ‘Supermum’

• You want to develop a kinder relationship with yourself

• You want to change the dance of anger with loved ones

• You want to feel more connected to your partner and kids

• You’re keen to connect with other mums to feel less alone in your anger

Course summary

Session 1 - Understanding your anger & where it comes from

In Session 1, we will explore the high costs of anger. We’ll also acknowledge the benefits, as anger is an emotion that connects us to what we want to change - to what really matters. We’ll identify triggers for rage and the stories we carry about anger – as a society and as individuals. Stories stemming from our family of origin may have taught us that anger is shameful and we were punished for expressing it, so we’ve learnt to suppress it. Or perhaps anger was modelled in a scary and unpredictable way.  

This session will draw out our emotional regulation system. This highlights how our ‘threat’ system activates fight, flight, freeze reactions to keep us safe, and how anger shows up in our bodies. We’ll also discuss practical, proven ways to connect to our ‘soothing’ system - to dampen down the flames of anger and help us feel soothed in our brain and body. Linked to this, we’ll practice a grounding visualisation together to close.

Session 2 - Pressures of patriarchal motherhood & the tyranny of perfectionism

Myths of motherhood, such as the myth of ‘Supermum’, have us believe that as mums, we must always be coping, in control and loving our role.  The idea of Supermum stems from the Western ideology of motherhood in a patriarchal system – which I refer to simply as ‘patriarchal motherhood’.

The messy reality of motherhood teaches us that living up to Supermum is impossible. Yet this pervasive fantasy - along with pressure to parent perfectly - still holds power over us. It forbids anger in mothers  – which is why rage fills us with shame and feels so taboo. A reflective exercise will support you to explore your mothering values – away from Supermum and all the perfect mum pressures.

Session 3 - The dance of anger with your child

The third session will address the dance of anger with your child. We’ll explore triggers for ‘hot’ moments and ways to make sense of their big feelings underlying challenging behaviours. I’ll also expand on the idea of containment – when we ‘hold’ our little one’s big feelings and help them feel soothed and seen – and the importance of containing ourselves. And what ‘good enough’ mothering really means: the ‘dance of interaction’ with our kids, including moments of connection and how to repair when there’s a rupture.

Session 4 - Anger towards others and the art of self-soothing

This session will explore anger directed at significant others such as a partner – identifying socio-cultural factors and couple dynamics that ignite the rage. And what keeps anger going. Linking to the emotional regulation model from Session 1, drawing on Compassion-Focused Therapy, we’ll discuss evidence-based ways to create a pause in moments of anger.

This workshop will introduce ideas around mindful compassion – supporting you to develop a kinder relationship with yourself, through safe conversations in smaller groups and experiential exercises.

Session 5 - Anger in the couple relationship: how to change the dance

In this workshop, we’ll address anger arising in the couple relationship. We’ll explore the importance of healthy communication and what that means, along with ways to pause and pivot in the dance of anger. Using the power of visualisation, I’ll support you to soothe feelings of vulnerability underlying difficult couple dynamics and to identify realistic ways to get your needs met.

We will also discuss the mind-bending parenting load – along with ways to lighten the load and share the burden more equitably.

Session 6 - Consolidation, review & moving forward

Our final session will be a review of the key themes and skills taught in this six-week course. It will be an opportunity to consolidate what you’ve learnt. I’ll guide you in creating your own personal anger plan going forward. This will highlight your pressure points, the take home messages and tools, techniques & practices you want to build on and take away - to help you feel more confident & connected (to yourself and those around you) in the day-to-day of parenting.

Creating community

In addition to the six weekly sessions, we create a private online community so that you can interact and connect with fellow group-members, sharing challenges and parenting wins, as well as benefiting from peer support, for the course duration.

On another weekday, I’ll be available for up to 60 minutes to respond to any questions within the online community, to troubleshoot and offer further specialist support for ongoing challenges.

Practicalities

Dates for my next course will be announced soon.

I have designed a tailored workbook to guide you through each session, with space to reflect after sessions on ideas and strategies we discuss and experiential exercises and meditations included in each workshop.

Fees

The course will cost £650 for the six weekly sessions and the additional 60 minutes of support offered each week, with the opportunity to interact and connect with other mothers in the group. You can pay in three instalments: a £250 deposit on signing up, £200 a week before the first workshop and £200 prior to the first session.

Any questions?

Spaces are limited as our intention is to create a safe, intimate space for the group. Please don’t delay in getting in touch to discuss further.

You can email me at drcarolineboyd@gmail.com with any queries or to book your free call to discuss booking your space (please include your phone number).

Who is facilitating the course?

About Caroline

Clinical psychologist Dr Caroline Boyd has over 10 years' experience working in the NHS and mental health settings, and specialises in supporting parents from pregnancy to childbirth and beyond. Caroline is the author of Mindful New Mum, and her published research explores mothers' experiences of intrusive thoughts about their babies. Her work has been featured in You magazine, Grazia, the Telegraph, BBC Radio Scotland and Woman's Hour on BBC Radio 4.

Caroline specialises in supporting parents around difficulties related to anger and/or anxiety. In her independent psychology practice, Parent Therapy Hub, she works integratively and draws on Compassion Focused Therapy, Mindfulness and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, as well as Systemic, Narrative and attachment models. Caroline is fully trained in Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR), an effective approach for working with difficult memories and traumatic events. She is also trained in the Solihull Approach, drawing on psychodynamic, child development and behavioural ideas.

Caroline shares psychology ideas on Instagram and podcasts such as Motherkind to help parents feel more connected - to themselves and their children - and less alone.

About Cat

Cat Berry has been supporting parents with their mental health since 2016. Having lived experience of recovering from PTSD after trauma and injury in childbirth, she is passionate about both the physical and mental well-being of mums and dads on their parenting journey. Her particular focus is helping parents to cope with the day-to-day challenges of trauma recovery, using somatic compassion-based practice and teaching self-soothing techniques to calm the nervous system. She also supports parents who have experienced abuse or neglect in their own childhood, particularly boarding school survivors, and has supported dozens of survivors through the recent Scottish Child Abuse Inquiry process.

Cat is a fully accredited EFT Tapping Practitioner (EFTi2 Accredited, TOOT1), trained in Somatic Trauma Therapy (STT Babette Rothschild). She is also fully trained in Trauma Release Exercises (TRE), Traumatic Birth Recovery 3 Step Rewind, and Therapeutic Practice with Boarding School Survivors (Nick Duffel). She runs Juno Perinatal Mental Health Support Edinburgh, a grass roots organisation facilitating peer support groups for mums and mums-to-be, and has informed the NHS and Scottish Government on best practice in perinatal trauma support, both as a professional and lived experience ambassador.

Art credit: Alex Virr