#maternalrage #anger
Motherhood can push us to our absolute limits – to the very edges of ourselves.
As Saima Mir expresses so well, the promised fantasy of cute, cashmere babies and rose-tinted, apple-pie motherhood clashes all too sharply with its reality. “The long list of unfinished tasks, the never-ending laundry, and the constant silent scream of the mental load, are kept from us,” she writes. In this wonderful book giving voice to the rich, alternative narratives of mothering experiences, Saima also highlights another layer that compounds suffering – largely in silence. That women “dare not speak of” maternal rage. “We are afraid to admit it, even to ourselves.”
This degree of self-policing – of having to push down these frightening, shocking, angry feelings – comes from society labelling angry mothers ‘mad’, ‘bad’ or ‘dangerous’. According to the Supermum myth, angry mothers are monstrous. Socially denigrated. Villains.
Next week I will continue to talk about anger –
*how the pervasive Supermum societal myth discounts and forbids women from expressing or even having these ‘negative’ feelings.
* I’ll explore (the many things) that can understandably fan the flames of fury for modern mothers.
*I’ll also offer ways to get to know your anger – allowing you to befriend it and own it.
*And ultimately, how understanding the spiky ‘unacceptable’ parts of ourselves can lead to growth and creativity – this is not only useful for our child’s development but also for a mother’s renewed and vital sense of self.
Tell me – what’s your experience of anger in motherhood? Does this resonate?
Art by @nomadastudiobcn