Anger is such a stigmatised emotion – thanks to the Supermum myth, ‘good’ mums aren’t allowed to be angry.
But we know Anger is a normal, defensive emotion. Anger is a normal reaction to a perceived threat, triggering our Fight, Flight & Freeze response. Our brain and body’s way of protecting us and keeping us safe.
Because of the stigma and shame, we try to suppress our Anger. But this only adds to the stress, keeping Anger bubbling under the surface.
It’s also a myth that venting Anger helps us feel better (Zillman; Tavris). Given the seductive nature of Anger, it may FEEL satisfying, but lashing out or retaliating only fires up our emotional arousal further, making us feel more angry, not less. Goleman, who writes brilliantly on emotions, cites a Tibetan teacher, Chogyam Trungpa, for handling Anger: “Don’t suppress it. But don’t act on it.”
So how can we discharge it safely?
🌟See my top tips in the cards below.
